The doctor wants to wait until my hcg gets down to zero and my first official cycle before doing the HSG. I'm a little bummed, just because part of me just wants to move forward. Truly, though, it's probably best that I have to wait so I have more time and space to properly grieve the loss of this baby. It's so easy for me to forge onward, but when it comes to being in the moment and really experiencing life as it is I'm out of my box. I need to work on that.
So now I wait some more. Here's the patience lesson. God has waited on me all of these years to accept His son and know Him and His word. He's been so patient with me yet here I am still expecting what I want when I want it! So now I choose to wait on God. He's faithfully waited on me and I want to faithfully wait on Him. I know it's my turn to wait, so I pray:
"God, grant me the patience to wait on your plan. To experience this loss for what it is and to really feel it. To know the agony of losing a precious life, a precious child. And as I wait, I pray for Your great wisdom. I pray that I will experience Your truest grace and really know You."
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