I love Heidi Baker

OK, so when I took the temporary child care gig I just assumed I wasn't going to be able to go see Heidi Baker (my favorite Christian woman on the planet) in Chicago on Monday night. Very early on Thursday morning I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. When this happens I chose to believe that God wants to say something and He won't let me sleep until I get it.

So I felt an urge to get up and check my email but I really didn't want to get out of bed. It was 2:00 in the morning, I was tired and didn't want to ruin my chances of sleeping by stimulating my brain with the light of the computer. But as I lay there trying to sleep the urge got stronger until I finally gave in.

Since I had lost my job and money got tighter I applied for a scholarship to go to the conference that Heidi was speaking at. I hadn't heard anything back, until I finally got up and checked my email. The message included key words such as, "your registration has been accepted, print this email for admission to the conference" and "we have been praying for you by name since receiving your registration" and "you are attending this conference by divine appointment". I know it was a form letter but it got me, it felt like it was all speaking to my heart and actually ripping it in two! How was I supposed to go to the conference when God had provided an answer to my prayer for Kingdom economy? I had to honor the family I had an agreement with.

But God woke me up to read that email so the only thing left to do was pray like a mad woman! I prayed for what seemed like an hour, maybe two, that Monday and Tuesday would be cleared up so I could go to the conference.

Well, long story short, Cam agreed to watch the little one on Tuesday and I compromised on my travel by leaving after she went home on Monday at 12:30. Adi and I did the road trip to Chicago to meet the McCoy's and stay at the Frauenholtz's (I hope I spelled that right).

The trip up was good. Maybe even excellent. My favorite part was when a white owl swooped in from the median, it came right at me and lifted it's feet as though it was going to just pick me up and then it flew right over me. It was incredible! The significance of the owl is way bigger than I can do justice and I'll have to dedicate an entire post to the owl later but just know that this is extremely spiritual and extremely exciting!

Here is a short video of Heidi preaching. She spoke on courage which is the same thing that Christy Wimber spoke on a week ago at the Vineyard in Cedar Rapids (where Cam prayed for my foot with tendinitis and it was HEALED, by the way! :) and I haven't heard it yet but Cam says that Bill Johnson also spoke on courage in his sermon on Sunday. God wants us to have courage, I know I need courage right now so I'll take it!!

There was a prayer tunnel at the end of the evening after Heidi spoke. Basically there are two lines of ministry leaders and the conference goers walk down the middle and are blessed by the folks who make up the lines. It can be very powerful. The guy at the beginning of the line asked me what I wanted prayer for and I said, "courage". He said it took courage just to say that. I chuckled because I didn't think so but whether I agreed with him didn't matter. I didn't sense anything specific happen when I went through the tunnel but thought maybe I got what I asked for.

Today we went to Kohl's to get a new outfit for me for a TV appearance I'm going to have next week (again, another post) and in the parking lot was a man walking with a cane. I asked Cam if he wanted to go pray for the guy and Cam said no. I walked a few more steps with Cam and Adi and then found myself just changing direction and walking toward the man. Adi followed and therefore Cam did too. In the end the guy didn't let me pray for him, but I told him that God loves him and blessed him and respectfully left him alone. It's OK that he said no, the most important thing is that I had the courage to say yes!

Latest Adventure

Here are some shots from Cam and Adi's latest adventure in the woods.

Fall is such a fun time to be outside. The colors, the leaves, the migrating birds, the cute little Adi's sitting by streams... the list goes on and on.

I love that smile!
I saved the best for last. I love this photo.

Apologies and Answers to Prayer

So since my last post I've learned that many people are offended by the use of the term, "fired". It feels too strong. And because I'm getting severance I couldn't have been "fired". Maybe so, maybe not. I don't really know. I do know that I was terminated from my position along with 3 of my co-workers and I think we all felt like we were fired in light of the circumstances. But, from here on out, I am committed to use new terminology. I was "laid off". I guess that is probably closer to the truth since I am eligible to apply for open positions at Pearson and I supposed had I been fired that would not be the case. So here's my official apology for using harsh language. I guess I was more irked than I wanted to admit. I still contend that I'm blessed indeed, though I was operating under such grace from God that I didn't acknowledge some of the underlying hurt of being let go from the company I've spent the last 11 years at.

I think I promised more pictures of last monarch we let go. I don't know how many there were in all over the course of the monarch season but they were so much fun to take care of and my 4 year old knows the word "metamorphosis" and has working knowledge of it's true meaning. That's pretty cool!

So I had mentioned that I was getting full pay as severance for 24 weeks. That's only partially true. I get full severance, but apparently the tax rate on hours not actually worked (severance) is astronomical! When I saw my first pay check I had a few moments of panic. It was a lot short. A lot. So I started praying. "Kingdom economy, God. Kingdom economy!" I think I said the same thing over and over again a few thousand times before going to bed that night and pray it every day since.

Cam and I talked it over and decided it would be a good idea to post an ad on craigslist for in-home child care. I could care for just one additional child for a while and hopefully that could make up the difference of insane taxes on my income and I'm strongly considering doing in-home childcare for a living ongoing so it would be nice to ease into it.

I wasn't expecting to get a response so quickly from someone in need of help so soon! I mulled it over a bit and finally said, "OK, God, if this is you I can't say no." The couple who responded is lovely. They have an adorable 18 month old daughter. The job is only temporary, which at first felt discouraging but now feels like just what I need. And of course it is. I prayed for kingdom economy and God sent people to us that need us as much as we need them. God is so beautiful in His ways, it brings tears to my eyes. I'm in awe of His glory, His majesty, and the way He answers prayers. God is good. He is so good!