So Saturday, July 7th is what I like to call my FDLP (first day of last period). I was pretty irritated and yes, even a little pissed when my monthly visitor arrived. I guess from a medical perspective it's probably best that I'm having a full cycle before getting pregnant again but from my perspective it just sucks.
I find myself falling from grace lately. I'm going through a schedule change and now that I'm laid off from work for the next three months things feel very different. Cam and I are having to learn how to be a couple again. We forget to respect each other and it's too easy to bite each others heads off when we get frustrated because we're just not used to having to deal with each other. It's always one on one with Adi and we don't have to respond to how our partner feels about parenting choices when we're apart.
It's not until we are together that we realize how different our parenting styles really are. That, of course, is also difficult for Adi. When we're together she has to test us to find out what the rules are going to be now since she's not used to interacting like a family either. I didn't anticipate the extent of confusion our shift schedules would cause for all of us.
Though the road feels bumpy now, I know it will smooth out soon. And I feel so blessed to have the next three months to spend together as a family, and hopefully grow our family as well. Cam and I are in the process of figuring out what tools we do and don't want to use to help us conceive. I wanted ovulation tests but Cam didn't want to spend the money on them. I think the underlying reason isn't so much the money but the pressure that he feels when the time comes and the technology of knowing more exactly when that is seems to take the joy out of making love and making a baby.
All of the communication Cam and I are having now is wonderful, even in the heated conversations where we don't seem to understand each other so well. This is the stuff that makes us stronger as a couple and family. I pray for God's blessings in this journey. And as always, I pray that when the time comes that Jesus will guide our little one(s) to a safe place in my uterus where healthy development can take place.
