The Gathering

I have a confession. So last year when I saw the flier for The Gathering (Vineyard conference) being the visual person I am, I thought, "that looks really cheesy. I don't think I'll be missing anything if I don't go". I judged. And even worse, I judged based on a piece of paper. Judged a book by it's cover, if you will.

When I heard all of the stories of how God moved in big ways at that conference I felt the size of a pea. I should know better than to judge, and now I had the proof that I was wrong wrong wrong in thinking that I wouldn't miss out on anything!

This year, the flier for The Gathering had nothing to do with my decision whether or not to go. Cam and I have been in deep need of a retreat and we're so grateful that tonight, we'll get one. So off we go to The Gathering. I have no idea what is in store for us. I have no sense of what God might do. In the past, I've entered into conferences and ministries with great fear (believing that God was going to ask me to do something I didn't want to do - like move to Africa... sorry Amy R if you're reading this ;)

Maybe that means something, that either I'm getting better at trusting God and what He has for me or maybe He's going to nail me to the floor when I least expect it. At any rate, I can't wait to spend the weekend with other Jesus lovers and seekers. And whatever God has, I'll take.

Can You Say...

"Can you say, God bless Adi!" my sick, stuffy nosed princess desperately cried out to me last night as she was trying to sleep. Her nose was so stuffed that she couldn't breathe out of it at all, which is a nightmare for a thumb sucker. I guess she's used to hearing me cry out to God or Jesus in times of trial and she wanted me to pray on her behalf.

Of course, I did. And before I even knew what had happened her nose was clear enough to breathe through until she fell asleep. The stuffiness came back later, but the faith that God hears us when we cry out remains - instilled in my child at the ripe age of 2 years 10 months. I thank God that in Adilyn's suffering, she knows to cry out to Jesus for relief - and that in the midst of fevers, chills, sweats, headaches, coughs and runny/stuffy noses, Jesus revealed himself to us.

Bye Bye Audi

Winter has taken it's toll on our trusty car. First, the battery died and had to be replaced. Then, last week while on my way home from work the engine died. We had high hopes for a cheap fix, a simple culprit. But no, our hopes were crushed when we learned that the problem included many parts - and oxygen flow sensor, the oil pump, internal engine damage... once they got to the engine they decided they were wasting their time looking at it. A new engine costs $7000 and that doesn't include labor. That's more than our 1996 Audi A4 is worth! So by the time all parts and labor were completed we'd be looking at a bill of around $9000. We can certainly buy ourselves a whole other car for that.

So the part that hurts is that our car is now worth nothing. We could try to sell off the parts but have no desire or time to store and strip the car apart and list parts on ebay or whatever. We considered converting the car to electric but after some research learned that this process would likely take us 6-12 months to complete and around $6000. Not a practical choice at this point.

So we're left with two options, try to get a dealership to give us something for a trade (highly unlikely) or take it to a salvage yard. A1 Imports offered us $175. Ouch. That hurts. It's a bit of a punch in the gut to have a car that felt like a safe and reliable asset to basically poop out completely and become worthless. This brings me to a lesson of material worth...

We've gone in circles trying to figure out how we can sqeeze just a few more bucks out of this car but the energy and effort just feels so exhausting and we haven't even done anything yet! In many ways I feel like I could get pretty upset and depressed about the situation. It certainly is a financial burden and stressor for our family in the dead of winter. But some how I feel grateful. Grateful that this is our card and not something worse. We are all safe and sound and the car is the only casualty here. We are so blessed to have options, however few. I feel like praising God for this particular trial. This is one I can handle. I'm more than OK. I'm hopeful, and in this moment recognize and look to Jesus as my provider.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm a Vegetarian ;)

Another thing that the pastor of the Boston Vineyard wrote that struck me was this:

So last fall, for instance, during our 21 days, I asked God if I should fast (I'd actually felt like I shouldn't fast during one of the previous 40 days, so I make it a practice to ask God). Super-quickly, I felt him answer "yes" and suggest a new fast to me that I would never have seen myself doing: that I eat vegetarian during the 21 days. (Which I'm learning from Wikipedia is a common Lenten practice in Eastern churches. That's so like God to invite me into a new thing which is an old thing.) And my "what do you want Jesus to do for you?" prayer related to one of my outside-the-church writing dreams, which looked pretty much dead at the time.

So I started my fast. It went surprisingly well. I did indeed find myself connecting better with God and, shock of shocks, I felt better, which was a nice bonus. And within days my "pretty much dead" writing dream revived with an unexpected e-mail coming my way. Woo-hoo! This prayer and fasting stuff works!

Now the key point of interest for me is the fact that the pastor felt like God was asking him to fast from eating meat. Why would not eating meat help someone "connect better with God"? As a vegetarian I often cling to the story of Daniel:8-20 (NIV) *bolded script is my highlighting

8 But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. 9 Now God had caused the official to show favor and sympathy to Daniel, 10 but the official told Daniel, "I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your [c] food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you."
11 Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, 12 "Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. 13 Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see." 14 So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.
15 At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. 16 So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.
17 To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.
18 At the end of the time set by the king to bring them in, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. 19 The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king's service. 20 In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.

So I've read theories that it wasn't so much the food that Daniel was eating that caused him to be better physically and mentally than those who ate the royal food (which included mostly meat and cheese) but his obedience to God for choosing not to eat the royal food. I wonder if any of those theologians have ever tried eating a vegetarian diet for 10 days just for the sake of trying it to see how they felt?

Daniel clearly looked better, performed better, and recieved more blessings and spiritual gifts as a result of eating a vegetarian diet. Even the pastor in Boston said that surprisingly he "felt better" and found himself "connecting better with God" as a result of eating that way. So I wondered, if he felt so good and was blessed by it, why did he stop doing it?

Then I remembered, like a slap in my face, my own experience with the 21 Days of Faith experiment - fasting from cooked food. I felt amazing. Truly amazing. And God was certainly very present in all of it. But it was hard. It took a lot of effort on my part. So I gave up on 100% raw because it was too hard. Having had a taste of that purity and life, however, leads me to hope that I will be strong enough to move back in that direction for the long haul very soon...

And thinking of that led me further to wonder about the phrase I hear all the time "you are what you eat." So what am I? Mostly coffee and carbs. Some fruit and veggies - mostly organic. And cheese, I can't seem to give up cheese! So if I feel a lag in spirituality by eating more carbs and cheese and fewer fruits and veggies, could the lag be causeed by what I'm consuming?

And what about meat? If you are what you eat, and you eat meat that was produced on a giant corporate "farm" where animals are routinetly given growth hormones and antibiotics and it's not uncommon for an animal to never see the light of day, are you eating those growth hormones and antibiotics? How about pain, fear, misery, dispair and terror, or do animals not feel those things? Is it better to eat animals raised on a small family farm? I don't know the scientific answer to those questions but I wonder.

Sorry if you are a meat eater and feel frustrated by what I wrote. I feel frustrated and confused about meat consumption too. I choose not to eat it. Mostly because I wouldn't be able to slaugter the animal, clean it, chop it up, all that stuff. I have no problem growing vegetables and picking them off the plant or vine. So that's what I'm sticking with. But on a spiritual level, I'm pretty sure there's much more to learn.

Lent

If it gives anyone a clue about where I am mentally right now, it wasn't until my prayer group met on Tuesday that I realized yesterday was the first day of lent. I've never observed lent, and though I considered observing it this year I was more excited to try something different - 40 Days of Faith, which is a faith experiment the Boston Vineyard (http://www.bostonvineyard.org/) has done over the past several years.

When I went to the site to check out this year's agenda, I was bummed to find out that they are doing something different this year: 40 Days Of Devotion. While I'm sure this will be powerful and lovely for all those who choose to participate, it feels much more like the traditional lent that most churches observe. For whatever reason, I'm not connecting to lent right now - and I don't want to do something just because everyone else is doing it.

The lead pastor wrote this about the Wikipedia entry on lent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent):

...And I'm especially intrigued by the last sentence, talking about how some folks don't like to follow any dietary restrictions in response to 1 Timothy 4:1-5, which might gain even more resonance when you realize (if the Wikipedia gang is right) that Lent came into being after Christianity was made a state religion under Constantine, and so suddenly church folks had to figure out who was "serious" and who was just going along with the societal flow.

It seems to me that the answer to those objections to fasting during Lent would come through seeing Lent as an opportunity, not an obligation. Lent clearly isn't biblical (being instituted, as it was, in the 4th century), but perhaps all those centuries of church folks practicing it suggest that many people have found value in such a season. And it doesn't seem to be anti-biblical if it's chosen, not imposed.

Maybe my objection to lent has more to do with a sense of obligation rather than choice. I know the Vineyard doesn't impose lent in an obligatory way, but it seems as though I've recieved it that way and have rejected it. I'm sure that my personality has a bit to do with that, but I feel like maybe what I really need to feel led to participate in lent is for the Holy Spirit to put it on my heart and highlight it for me. I don't know if I'm asking for that or not... I think I'm just trying to figure it out.

Another Adventure

Adi and Daddy LOVE their adventures!!

Another Weekend Project

We weren't sure what to do with the kitchen - should we use the same laminate as the living/dining room, do ceramic or vinyl tile, something else? We decided to go wild and enjoy another weekend project (sarcasm doesn't always translate so well on the web).

Before:

After:

Mojo likes to have his picture taken!

Thrush Follow Up

I was thinking just this morning that I forgot to follow up on my whole thrush experience. I feel like it's important to share my experience with the drugs I was prescribed and how I overcame the need for them.

First, the Dyflucan caused some pretty undesireable side effects from this drug (and have in the past as well). Here is a list of some side effects of fluconazole - the antifungal antibiotic in Dyflucan - from www.drugs.com/

Less serious side effects may include:
mild nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or upset stomach;
headache;
dizziness;
unusual or unpleasant taste in your mouth; or
skin rash or itching.

Unfortunately I experienced all of the above except the diarrhea and vomiting. That's not OK with me, I had all of those side effects after only one dose and I was instructed to take another dose 7 days after the first. I couldn't stand the thought of going through that for another week!

I saw a video on youtube once upon a time that mentioned grapefruit seed extract (GSE) and it's powerful anti-bacterial, anti-fungal properties (among other things). I called up the Co-op and got me a bottle of magic. Check out the list of what it can be used for:

Internal Use

Orally, Throat Gargle, Ear Rinse, Nasal Rinse

External Use

Facial Cleanser, Skin Rinse, Nail Treatment, Scalp Treatment

Household Use

Toothbrush Cleaner, Vegetable/Fruit or Meat/Poultry Wash, Dish and Utensil Cleaning Additive, Cutting Board Cleaner, All Purpose Cleaner

After taking about 10 drops in 8 oz of water 3 times daily for 2 days all of my symptoms and side effects were gone! No more Diflucan, no more oral anti-biotic mouth rinse, no more nasty drugs! Wooo hoooo!!

For more info on GSE go to: http://www.nutriteam.com/gse.htm