So Cam and I were out shopping for a tree in memory of our lost child last Wednesday when I felt a very strange sensation. I hurried to the bathroom only to find I had passed what looked like a second gestational sack. I didn't have it in me to keep it to take to the doctor (I know some people can and do actually do this for pathology tests but I just couldn't!) so I don't have any proof but it seems like there may have been two.
The doctors explanation was that it could have been placental tissue but I don't agree. The theory has come up over and over again by friends and family alike (far before I even had the actual miscarriage) so I guess I'm most inclined to believe that it's true. That I lost twins.
The only thing that this changed for us is that instead of buying one tree in remembrance we decided to buy two. We chose Japanese Maples, for their beauty, longevity and the way the fern like leaves flow so gracefully in the wind. I love the fact that we are able to honor these little lives that didn't come to be with something that will hopefully live on for years to come.
And me, I'm feeling great. Much better than I could have expected. I've had virtually no pain, very little bleeding and a very short freak out period. God is in this with me and knowing that helps me to retain my faith, my hope and my love for God and his kingdom, including this community!
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