FDLP

So Saturday, July 7th is what I like to call my FDLP (first day of last period). I was pretty irritated and yes, even a little pissed when my monthly visitor arrived. I guess from a medical perspective it's probably best that I'm having a full cycle before getting pregnant again but from my perspective it just sucks.

I find myself falling from grace lately. I'm going through a schedule change and now that I'm laid off from work for the next three months things feel very different. Cam and I are having to learn how to be a couple again. We forget to respect each other and it's too easy to bite each others heads off when we get frustrated because we're just not used to having to deal with each other. It's always one on one with Adi and we don't have to respond to how our partner feels about parenting choices when we're apart.

It's not until we are together that we realize how different our parenting styles really are. That, of course, is also difficult for Adi. When we're together she has to test us to find out what the rules are going to be now since she's not used to interacting like a family either. I didn't anticipate the extent of confusion our shift schedules would cause for all of us.

Though the road feels bumpy now, I know it will smooth out soon. And I feel so blessed to have the next three months to spend together as a family, and hopefully grow our family as well. Cam and I are in the process of figuring out what tools we do and don't want to use to help us conceive. I wanted ovulation tests but Cam didn't want to spend the money on them. I think the underlying reason isn't so much the money but the pressure that he feels when the time comes and the technology of knowing more exactly when that is seems to take the joy out of making love and making a baby.

All of the communication Cam and I are having now is wonderful, even in the heated conversations where we don't seem to understand each other so well. This is the stuff that makes us stronger as a couple and family. I pray for God's blessings in this journey. And as always, I pray that when the time comes that Jesus will guide our little one(s) to a safe place in my uterus where healthy development can take place.

More on Maca

I know I was really vague about maca, what it is, does, and how it works so I'm going to try to do a better job of explaining all of that. I'm not an expert but I'll try to represent maca to the best of my ability.

Maca is a root vegetable that is grown in the high Andes Mountains of Peru and Ecuador. The natives experienced the benefits of maca as increased sex drive and fertility. There are many other health benefits as well. This is what macaroot.com says:

Maca is considered by top researchers to be a true adaptogen.

• An adaptogen is a substance which raises the non-specific resistance in an organism.
  
• Adaptogens enable the body to enhance its power of resistance and adapt to external conditions.
  
• They work with the bodies natural rhythms to help rebuild week immune systems, re-mineralize poorly nourished bodies, and increase energy and endurance.

Click on the link I've posted to find out more about specifically how it works.

So when I posted that maca works, the part I was referring to was the increased sex drive. I have to admit that I honestly had no idea how low my libido had been before until I experienced what seemed like a pretty dramatic increase after adding maca to my diet. I did have some confusion surrounding all of that but with a lot of prayer and really close attention to my body I came to understand what was going on I was able to enjoy it.

In terms of fertility the following info is important (from the Natural Fertility Article):

Maca works by controlling estrogen. Levels that are high or low at the wrong time either keep a woman from becoming pregnant or keep her from carrying to term. Estrogen in men produces erectile dysfunction, lack of libido, lowered sperm count and production of seminal fluid!

I think that if you want to use maca to help increase fertility it's important for both husband and wife to take it together. When making a baby is in the forefront any bit of help is welcome, especially from natural sources when possible.

So I hope that helps answer the basic questions about maca. I have some links posted for websites that talk more about maca but I specifically recommend reading the Natural Fertility Article in it's entirety if you plan to use maca to help increase your and your spouses fertility.

Hoooray

My period came today, which explains a lot of things. Food cravings, mood swings, tiredness and the like. I'm glad to have my period back. I feel like I can move on for real now. I don't have to be so careful and I feel a sense of newness. Am I making up words? It's just been a long time since I was actually happy to get my period! Life is so weird.

Maca

Maca works. That's all you need to know. Try it.

PMS

Great news! I think I have PMS. I've been a total bitch all day - but the cool thing is that I catch myself every time and laugh about it, out loud, in a very obnoxious way.

It started out with W4 forms and an internal application that the HR manager asked me to fill out "just to have an updated copy on file" even though nothing had changed! Irritating. Since then it's been one thing after another - very insignificant things come up and I'm sooooo irritated!

Ah, this is the glorious joy we women know as PMS. I know there are many of you men out there that just don't believe in PMS and if that's you, please don't test me now. I'm amazed by the altered consciousness that is a result of mere hormones...

OK, I just felt excited to realize that my crappy day is most likely fueled by a good old fashioned case of PMS. Yipee for me.

Tootleoot.

Hcg = 5

Yeeehaaaw! My hcg is down to 5 which means I don't have to go back and get my arm pricked again next week. That is fabulous news and I'm so pleased that my body is back to the normal level. Man, that was such a trip. But we learned a lot and were loved a lot so it wasn't a total loss.

I'm excited now for my body to go through it's regular cycle and to move on. Cam and I started a raw food vegan diet yesterday and we hope that it will serve many purposes:

• healing
• cleansing
• more energy
• less weight
• icreased libido

Day one was a little rough for me, if you are curious you can click on View my complete profile on the right and check out my blog: Stacey D - My Raw Food Experiment. I hope to add to that daily but we'll see how that goes.

I will continue to post to this blog occassionally. Mostly with updates on things like does maca powder really work and of course I will report when we are prego again - though I can't say how early I would want to post that when it happens. That is yet to be seen.

Hcg = 82

My hormone level is down to 82 which is awesome. I only bled for 11 days this time compared to 7 weeks with my first 2 miscarriages. I feel vibrant, full of life, hope and faith that God will bless us with another pregnancy.

The doc wants me to do a dye test in which a dye is injected into my uterus while a radiologist watches it absorb into the lining of my uterus to determine if the shape of my uterus is the problem. I have some mixed feelings about this procedure.

Pros:

1. The test could show us if there are any abnormalities that could potentially be corrected with surgery
2. We would have peace of mind in knowing that we were checking into potential causes

Cons:

1. I don't like the idea of injecting any foreign substance into my uterus
2. The procedure is potentially painful and includes a risk of infection
3. Having the procedure would prolong the waiting period in which we would be able to try again
4. If the test showed an abnormality I would then be faced with the decision of whether or not to follow through with a surgery (not an appealing option)

I successfully carried and delivered Adi so I know that no matter what the shape of my uterus is I am in fact capable of having a healthy full-term pregnancy.

The cons seem to outweigh the pros for me right now so Cam and I have agreed that we are going to hold off on the test. That may change if we get pregnant and miscarry again, but for now we feel like we need to move forward without invasive tests.

So our prayer is that next time around God will guide our little one(s) to a safe and healthy place in the womb to implant. That the environment there will be welcoming and nourishing, that my body will accept it as my own and harbour it. That we can leave the ups and downs behind and walk forward in faith with Jesus along side us.

This is totally a side but I love learning the meanings of names. My name is from Anastasia which means, "resurrection". This feels so fitting to me right now; I have fallen but I know I will rise again. Thank you Jesus.