So now that I'm eating a high raw diet and have begun to lose a little bit of weight I wonder what I'm losing with the weight. I know fat stores most of the toxins in our bodies so I'm guessing as I lose fat I'm also losing some MSG, pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics and who knows what else. I find this fascinating because for a rare moment in my life I'm losing weight as a bi-product of a much bigger goal. I'm not eating raw to be obnoxious, to see if I can do it, to isolate myself from my friends and family or even to lose weight. I'm eating raw to heal my body. To heal. I'm in awe that God created these bodies to be able to do that with the nutrition available in the natural state of the foods he created for us to eat. I don't eat everything just as is - I do my fair share of blending, mixing, dehydrating, etc. but the key is that heat isn't being used to process the food I eat and all of the enzymes remain intact. This sounds insane but it is so incredibly liberating!
I'll be honest about how I felt when I realized I was getting my period this month. I was pissed. That's really quite an understatement. A more accurate term would be furious. So angry at God for making me wait even longer. How long will he make me wait? There were several other factors wrapped up in my anger but I have not felt that intensity of emotion in years. It didn't happen at a women's conference, or a prayer meeting. It was here in my home where I groveled with God, cried until I had no more tears and even refused to pray anymore (for my prayers weren't being answered so what was the point?) And after a day and a half of catching myself wanting to pray dozens of times yet stubbornly resisting I finally released it all in my journal (which will someday prove to Adi that her mama really is crazy), I gave it to God, discussed it with Cam and came full circle back to the God I love and he who loves me.
I don't know if I would have gone through all of that if I hadn't been eating raw food. I most likely would have ordered a pizza and drank soda to be followed by beer and Doritos later that night. There is just no comfort in raw food. Only flavor, love, life and nutrition. But as for stuffing those emotions, it doesn't work when you're eating raw food.
So what I'm losing with each pound that happens to coincide with the healing of my body, mind and spirit is the dependency I have on food to make me feel better emotionally. I'm losing my unhealthy relationship with the sustenance that God has provided. I'm losing a large part of my gluttony. It's a very rocky road (ask Cam, he'll verify) but I'm on a path to health, vitality and freedom from the chains that bind me. I knew that I had issues with food and eating but I had no idea how BIG those issues really were. What a journey this is. What a blessed crazy journey. I feel like the namesake of this blog is being affirmed: What a Long Strange Trip!
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