28 weeks 4 days

That's just how pregnant I am.  28 weeks and 4 days.  I'm feeling pretty good for the most part though 3rd trimester tiredness is already creeping in.  Doc says I'm slightly anemic so that is probably a contributing factor, guess I'll have to be more diligent about taking my prenatal vitamins and making sure I don't have calcium at the same time (calcium inhibits iron absorption).

So here it is: the baby belly.  I can already tell that this kiddo is noticeably growing at a crazy rate, which is normal in the last few months.  I'm finally getting to the point where people are saying, "you're really starting to show, aren't you?"

I'm enjoying this phase of pregnancy.  My emotional stability has leveled out for the most part, I get to feel the baby kicking and moving but it doesn't hurt yet (no jabs to the ribs) and I mostly have enough energy to get what I need done in the day.  We've been really productive as a family and summer is almost here.  It's growing season - both in my womb and in our garden :)

Preschool Graduation and Kindergarten Roundup

Oh my, where did the time go?  It wasn't long ago that Adilyn was heading off to her first day of preschool and now she's already had her last.  Our girl has grown so much and in so many ways.  We're very proud of her.

Here is the class performing a song at the graduation ceremony.

Miss Adilyn looking so grown up.

A little family picture - looks like all of us are growing.  At least I have an excuse... for now ;)

Preschool graduation was on Monday this week and Kindergarten Roundup was on Tuesday.  Adi and I went together and it only took a few moments before she was comfortable enough for me to leave her in the classroom to have some fun with some of the other students.  She's grown so much emotionally, I appreciate that she still needs me but also that she's OK without me for reasonable periods of time.  I think things will go just fine this fall when Adilyn attends school full-time.

The only photos I got at K roundup were in the courtyard where a family of ducks live.  They have a swimming pool set up for them to swim in and we got to see the ducklings as well.  What a cool thing to have at elementary school.

Now in just a few short months our little girl will be attending elementary school and we'll have a new addition to the family.  We're so blessed to be where we are, right now.  So blessed.

Boy or Girl?

My first response when the ultrasound tech told us that she thought we were having a girl was a thought that I didn't openly share, "Ha, I should have seen that coming.  God certainly has a sense of humor and it's not the same as mine."  I've been so sure from the beginning that this baby was a boy that I never really gave much thought to it being a girl.  All of the dreams I'd had pre-conception and all those that I'd had since learning I was pregnant were of me giving birth to a boy.  Everything about this pregnancy has been different than with Adilyn, so how could this be anything but a boy?

I'd seen an ad somewhere for a gender prediction test called Intelligender and had been tempted to get one long ago.  The test is about $35 which felt like a lot considering I would be having an ultrasound that would likely be much more reliable and I didn't have to pay for that (well, I did but my it's included in the $100 co-pay for the entire pregnancy including delivery).  So I decided to wait for the ultrasound.

In the wake of disappointment at what I was told at the ultrasound about having another girl (not that I don't want another girl, I just always felt like I was having a boy) I decided to go to Walgreens and get myself an Intelligender test.  With luck, it was on sale for $27 and I didn't hesitate to give it a try - even though it's accuracy is only about 90%.

The results made me laugh:

Sage green is supposed to be boy.  Orange is supposed to be girl.  I kind of got both.  The urine was mostly orangish while the sediments that fell to the bottom turned dark sage green.  I really couldn't help but laugh.  I had to make a choice.  I could be frustrated and freak out or I could laugh and enjoy the mystery of not knowing if we are having a boy or a girl.  I decided I was going to have fun with not knowing, trusting in the Lord that this baby was exactly as He designed it to be and take joy in the blessing of being pregnant with a healthy baby.  What a blessing indeed.

So now we are thinking of girl names which we hadn't done until now because we were so sure it was a boy.  Seeking baby names is such a fun thing for me and I love it!  I love how unique everyone's taste is when I ask for suggestions.  Even if I never use any of the names I'm searching through "just in case it really is a girl" I'm having fun with it and truly cherishing this pregnancy and the little one growing inside me.

Ultrasound!

Introducing, baby Driscoll - 19 weeks.

The ultrasound went pretty well.  I was a bit disappointed in the photos we got, they seem blurry and it's hard to really see the baby but I'm grateful that we have some photos to look at.  The baby kept moving and it was hard to get a good shot.  During the 3D part we could see that the baby was covering it's eyes with the little hands as if to say, "quit looking at me!"

Baby wasn't cooperating for position to tell if it was a boy or a girl so the tech had me empty my bladder and we tried again.  The position was better the second time and the tech believes that due to a lack of visible boy parts the baby is a girl.  

I've had a sense that this baby was a boy from the beginning so hearing that it's a girl isn't sinking in for me.  I don't really believe it to be true.  I've had multiple boy dreams and I trust my dreams - unfortunately more than I trust an ultrasound.  I'm stubborn, I know ;)  So for the next 21 weeks we are saying that it's going to be a surprise.  I've heard of ultrasound predictions being wrong on many occasions so it would be no big surprise if this one was wrong.  And if our baby is a girl it won't be a big surprise either.  We have a boy name picked out already so now we just need to find the perfect girl name and when baby Driscoll comes he or she will be welcomed and loved and adored regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl.  Praise God for a healthy baby!!

A lot to write about

Things have been super busy around the Driscoll household.  Cam started a new job working for the Florida project at Pearson.  He's finally working days after 7 years of 2nd shift.  And the project he's working on is the 2nd largest in the company which means high pressure compared to anything he's ever done there before.  It will surely take some adjusting but I know he'll be awesome at his new position.  

I've been working on preparing our home to start an in-home daycare for the past few months now and I finally started yesterday with one infant.  The going is a bit rough to start out but I know it will get easier as Adi and I adjust to someone else in the house requiring time and attention.  It will be a big transition for us but it's kind of cool that we get to "practice" having a baby around before Adi's sibling arrives in the fall.  At least we get to send this one home at the end of the day ;)

My grandma had her 80th birthday over the weekend and the family threw a wonderful party for her.  We got a four-generations photo with my dad, grandma, me and Miss Adilyn.

Last Tuesday was kindergarten registration day.  We've struggled with the fact that our school (Robert Lucas Elementary) is one of those labeled "in need of assistance" by the "no child left behind" initiative. The parent in me is concerned about how Adi would respond to potential behavior issues that could potentially occur more frequently in a school with a greater population of children from low-income families.  As a Christian, I believe that all of these children are special and have a purpose in God's kingdom, that each one is destined for great things and should be given the chance to make the right choices and given the tools to overcome the odds.  

We visited another school in Iowa City that we had decided would be an excellent choice for our family.  Adilyn had a friend that would be going there and it is a considerably smaller school.  The principle gave us a tour of the school and introduced us to the kindergarten teacher and we felt very welcome there.  But to be honest we didn't feel as welcome as we did at our home school, Lucas.  There are many elements of our visits to the two schools that influenced our decision, but in the end we're going to give Robert Lucas Elementary a chance.  My dad went there, I went there, and now Adilyn is going to go there.  That's kinda cool.

Dreams of Encouragement

This is a story about faith. About love, honor, persistence and triumph. I've learned so much about God and His nature through the experiences of multiple miscarriages, secondary infertility, and finally the blessing of a healthy pregnancy. I've learned that God is good, no matter what my circumstances. I've learned that God wastes nothing, every experience in life can be used to bring good. I've learned that God does not seek to punish (for this was satisfied on the cross) but He wants us to learn, to love, and to follow the example of His son Jesus Christ.

There are many parts of my story that might be hard to understand, maybe even hard for some people to believe. That's OK, because it's my story. It happened to me and is as real as the baby growing in my womb. I can't write it all in one post so I'll break it up into several, and I'm sure the story will continue until this baby is born and the promise is fulfilled. I'll do my best to share the journey thus far in easy to read segments.

After our last miscarriage in October of 2007 we went through some medical tests to try and find an answer to why I was able to become pregnant but not stay that way. I hadn't wanted the tests originally but gave in once it felt as though one more loss would kill me. I was looking for answers from man. Was there something physically wrong with me? I just wanted to be told that a doctor could "fix" me and everything would be OK. That's not what I got. The answer instead was something like, "you have a slightly increased chance of miscarriage because of thickening at the end of your fallopian tubes but it's not worth the risks of surgery to try and fix anything because it wouldn't really make a difference." Not what I wanted to hear.

So we had some options. We could do IVF or take fertility drugs to increase our chances. We wanted to give it some time. We set a one year time limit. A year came and went and no new pregnancies. I did, however, have a dream.

In my dream, a co-worker was pregnant. She said to me, "Isn't it so exciting that nine new women are pregnant?" I felt a twinge of bitterness and resentment and responded, "Yeah, great." Then she said, "Don't worry, you'll be next. It will be soon." I knew this was a dream from the Lord and that He was encouraging me. So my response was to seek out all the women I could find who were pregnant, counting along the way. Anxious to get to number nine. Then nine came and went and I had to figure out what the significance of nine really was. The Lord doesn't give us numbers in dreams for no reason. They are always significant.

About then I had an annual exam with my OB/Gyn and we discussed more options. At that point, the only non-invasive option was a fertility drug to increase my chances of getting pregnant sooner. Like most drugs, there was a list of side effects a mile long and I couldn't bring myself to do it. God promised I would be pregnant again soon, it's just hard for us to know what "soon" actually means in God's terms ;) So we went on, month after month with nothing. Until I had another dream.

In this dream I gave birth to a baby boy. Cam and I had picked out the name Sage for a boy before Adi was born. We even struggled with whether or not to use the name for her by making it more feminine with the spelling: Saige. In the end, Adilyn Rose felt so special to us and perfect for her and we saved the name Sage for our first born boy. The significance of the name is that in this dream there were two men who told me I could not name my baby boy Sage. That God had chosen a different name. When I woke up from the dream in the middle of the night I thought, "Oh, I can remember that name. It's a longer version of my name, I won't forget it, I don't need to write it down..." When I woke up in the morning I had forgotten the name completely, but did remember that I could not use the name Sage.

I believe that God speaks to me through dreams. He's spoken to my friends through my dreams and I pray He will always continue to do so. Without these dreams I would not have had the encouragement to continue to trust God's timing. As much as I wanted to take matters into my own hands throughout the years of waiting, I always knew that God was up to something and if I did things my way I might screw up something really amazing that He has in store. The more I know the Lord, the more I want what He intends for me above what I desire for myself. Abundant blessing comes in yielding to the Father. It might take longer than we think it should, but the reward will be great.

Praise God We're Pregnant!

On December 17th I decided to take a pregnancy test. I didn't feel pregnant. My period wasn't late yet. But we were getting ready to go to Grandma Marsha's for Christmas in two days and though I had given up drinking beer and wine (part of the story I'll tell later) we'd had a couple of very stressful weeks and I was ready for some wine, I was already planning it. But I had a strong sense that I needed to use the pregnancy test I had sitting in the cupboard, leftover from the last time I took a hopeful test - they're cheaper in two packs. I knew somehow that I was pregnant even though I felt nothing. Even still, the test results actually surprised me!

Because we've had so many miscarriages (four total - one before Adi then: Sept '06, May '07, and Oct '07) it's standard to start out with all sorts of tests, taking blood samples to check HCG and progesterone levels but we didn't want to go through all of that this time. We were just going to trust God and wait for the first OB appointment at just under 7 weeks to see an ultrasound. The doc was cool with that so we just had to wait.

The decision to trust was easy, but the process was long and difficult. I told very few very close friends who I knew would be able to pray with power and authority over this pregnancy and I had to do some serious prayer to keep myself from sinking into fear. I did some declarations - biblical statements declaring why I would fear no evil and declaring that this was God's creation and this baby would be born. We hadn't even tried to get pregnant in December, after all (we were too busy trying to keep our dog Ihry alive - and she is, miraculously alive and well). This was all God, His will, His timing, His creation.

So here is the first ultrasound at 7 weeks. It's hard to see but you can see in the photo a dark egg-like area. That is the yolk sac. You can see two plus signs on the left side of of the yolk sac and the blurry thing between those plus signs is the embryo :) Once I saw the heartbeat on the monitor I couldn't even speak. I was too busy crying to even remember to ask for the official due date (I now know that it is 8/25/10). As soon as the doctor left the room I got on the floor and praised God. I didn't even have my clothes on and the floor could have been filthy but I didn't really care. This was the most amazing blessing, to know that my pregnancy was viable.

Cam and Adi came with me to my 11 week appointment because we were supposed to listen to the heart beat and I thought it would be fun for them to be there. My doctor surprised us by doing an ultrasound instead. Again you can see a dark egg-shaped area and the light colored stuff is the baby. Oh my how our babe has grown!

This one is my favorite. The head is on the left side of the oval and you can see a little arm sticking up. Then all the way to the right you can see the little a little leg sticking up too.

The baby was bouncing around in there during the ultrasound. It was so cool to see the baby so active. How wonderful. Adi thought it was weird, I'm sure it was totally weird for her. It barely looks like a baby yet, but she's been bonding with her little sibling already by talking to, hugging and singing songs to my belly. So sweet, she'll be an amazing big sister.

So yes, there's much more to this story but I wanted to get the news out first. We're finally expecting our 2nd child after trying for four years! Yes, it's been that long. We started trying when Adi was only 9 months old because we wanted our kids close in age. It didn't work out that way but I know God's way is the best way.